My maternal grandmother had a major stroke this morning.  I'm still in shock from the news.  She's still alive, but in a state that I wouldn't wish on anyone.

I don't know what to hope for.  The selfish part of me wants her to recover (and fast enough to be well enough to come to the wedding two weeks from tomorrow - which I know isn't realistic, but it's what I want anyway dammit), and the grandson that has seen her suffer through constant pain and a body that's been failing her in awful ways for several years wants her pain to end as quickly as possible, for her sake.  Not to mention for the sake of those who care for her - I was on the sidelines watching my first girlfriend's mother slowly deteriorate for over a year (and I came late onto the scene) before she finally passed.  Slow death is not a pleasant process for anybody around it.

It's been a very strange day filled with dealing with wedding-related stuff to keep myself busy, interspersed with the occasional breakdown.


I just don't know what to hope for.