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30 March 2005 @ 09:10 am
Well, I suppose that was inevitable.  
Got kicked out of the front row tonight.

Time for bed...
Idtechnomonkey on April 1st, 2005 06:35 am (UTC)
Not unbelievable. Just that I can't believe it.
Here's the background: me. Of everybody in the front row, I've been pretty much central and in the back for the new song - which means I'm in a position to see the way everybody else is moving. I can see who's screwing up, I can see who's moving jerky and not "in the style" of the rest of the front row. I can see who's moving better and worse than whom. And we've got a few doozies, a couple of which are new to not only the front row, but to the chorus - so it's understandable that they may need some time to catch up, but if you're judging based on now, they're at the bottom of the pack.

So when I'm told that the reason I'm being moved onto the risers is because I'm just not moving as well as the rest of the row and I'm sticking out because of it, I don't buy it. I know I'm not the best in the group, but there's not a doubt in my mind that I'm not the worst. It sounds conceited, but it is what it is.

And yes, free time is a luxury that I could use more of. In fact, I probably wouldn't mind this at all if it'd been handled differently. But it feels like I've been lied to and cut off at the knees at the last possible second (we've got a rehearsal on Sunday with our choreographer - and all of a sudden I'm two months behind the rest of the chorus on my moves), so I resent that.
lindasings on April 2nd, 2005 04:47 am (UTC)
Re: Not unbelievable. Just that I can't believe it.
If you're correct at the reason, understand that the choreographer lied to you to spare your feelings. Most egos can take, "I'm doing okay, but that guy's better," much easier than "I'm ugly and they need to hide me."
Idtechnomonkey on April 2nd, 2005 05:09 am (UTC)
True, but not helpful.
"You're ugly" doesn't do anything for anybody.

But they've had opportunities since February to say "you're big and fat." If they'd said that then, I probably wouldn't be now, and I'd likely still be in the front row. As it is, I'm running under suspicions that it's what the issue is and not positive about it, so I can't even say for sure that anything I could do would help.

As the leadership, it's their job to make sure I know what I need to do in order to improve with enough time to make it happen. Whether I'm right or not, they failed to do that.