I moved my computer from Sherman Oaks to Anaheim so I'd have something to work with. Somehow between leaving and arriving, the sound stopped working. I thought perhaps it was the wire connecting the computer to the speakers, but miss Shandy suggested I plug headphones straight into the card. Sure enough, no sound that way either.
Picked up a new soundcard today. Surprise! The sound works now.
And if I had the speakers, my computer would now support 5.1.
Which is odd, because I have no other stereo equipment capable of such effect.
Of course, that would also require some more speakers....