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13 April 2007 @ 05:46 pm
DSLless.  

Jen posted a bit about the woes we've had with Verizon this week. Boy it's been fun. Here's the rundown:

(needless to say, all of this is paraphrasing)

Monday, call 1:
Me: I'd like to set things up. I'm moving, you see, and need phone service and DSL at the new location.
V: That'd be fine, except we don't offer DSL at your new address. FiOS, however, is better quality and just a couple dollars more than you're paying now, plus there's six months of discount.
Me: OK, let's go with that, then.
V: I'll set it all up for you. When are you moving, so we can set up an appointment for the tech to set up your internet?
Me: Let's set everything for the 19th. If you don't mind working around the DirecTV and gas company techs, we'll get all the appointments done at once.
V: That works.

********************************

That evening, Jen tries to call. Phone's been disconnected.

********************************

Monday, call 2:
Me: What's going on?
V: Oops! The last person seems to have set your appointment to hook things up for next week, but the time to disconnect was immediately. Please hold, I'll take care of it.
*45 minutes of holding later, their system hangs up on me.*

********************************

Monday, call 3:
Me: What the hell was that all about?
V: Sorry about that sir. Please hold, I'll get it taken care of.
*5 minutes later*
V: Just checking in - don't want you thinking I've dropped you.
*10 minutes later*
V: OK, let me get the details for the move again, so I can set everything up correctly. You should have your phone back in about 30 minutes.
Me: OK.

********************************

Tuesday:
V: Hello, Mr. Levitz? Sorry to disturb you, but the person last night wasn't actually trained to set up FiOS appointments. Let ME get things taken care of so everything's set up correctly.
Me: OK, here's all the details.
V: OK, done.

********************************

Thursday, I drive to Camarillo. I get home about 5:45, and notice that the DSL isn't working. With a sense of foreboding, I call.
Thursday:
Me: Here's all the crap I've been through this week. Is the DSL a coincidental outage in my area, or did you screw up again?
V: Let me put you on hold to find out.
*5 minutes later*
V: OK, I'm ready for you to yell at me - I promise not to take it personally. This was, indeed, our fault.
Me: When will I be reconnected?
V: That department is closed, sir. There's nothing I can do.
Me: How are you going to compensate me for all the screwups your company has put me through this week?
V: There's nothing I can do -- it wasn't my department that screwed up, you'll have to talk to the DSL department.
Me: Let me talk to your supervisor.
V: Please hold.
*5 minutes later*
V: My supervisor says he has better things to do than talk to you when there's nothing our department can do. (I swear to God, he actually said that to me) Please call again tomorrow.
Me: Wrong answer, but fine. I'll call again tomorrow.

********************************

Friday:
Me: Hello DSL departmetn. Here's the situation.
V: OK, you had FiOS before?
Me: No. Look before that. One day before that.
V: Sorry, I can't see past the most recent order.
Me: Time to get me your supervisor.
V: OK.
*5 minutes later*
V: Hello?
Me: Hi, are you a supervisor?
V: No, were you told I would be?
Me: Yes. Here's my situation.
V: Sorry, there's nothing that can be done. The system is set up to easily disconnect your DSL, but reconnecting requires a work order, and it'll take more than a week to hook you back up.
Me: I'll be moved by then. Set me up now.
V: I'm sorry, it can't be done.
Me: Back to the original plan. Get me a supervisor.
V: Please hold.
*4 minutes later*
V: I'm a supervisor, how can I help you?
Me: Correct the situation.
V: Sorry, sir, it can't be done. I'm prepared to offer you one month of DSL service free to compensate you.
Me: I won't have access to DSL by the time your offer is worth anything. Try again.
V: How about $25 off your next bill?
Me: Not good enough. Hook me back up.
V: I'm sorry sir, it can't be done.
Me: Get me your supervisor.
V: I am the supervisor.
Me: You're telling me there's nobody above you in the heirarchy?
V: One moment.
*8 minutes later*
V: I'm the manager. Sorry what you want can't be done, but all I can offer you is one month of FiOS free.
Me: Will that be one month at the discounted rate, thus making the discount less worthwhile?
V: Tell you what - I'll discount you the value of one month's FiOS fees at the higher rate ($39.99 plus tax) on your next bill. Will that satisfy you?
Me: It'll placate me, I suppose.


********************************

The good news is that, aside from checking on my grades this morning, I wasn't going to really use the DSL at the house anymore anyway. This weekend, I'm in San Jose for an NSA Basic Care Intensive. I get back Sunday evening, at which point I either crash on the bed or start packing. Monday is all about packing, and Tuesday is the move. Still, Verizon has screwed me over several times this week, and if they hadn't offered me more than $25 for all the pains they'd put me through this week, I was seriously considering going with Time Warner Cablemodem, and VoIP for the phones. Hopefully, all of THAT drama is over and done with.

I hope I hope.....